HOPELESSLY OPTIMISTIC

It's 10 am.already late for the shoot.
so what if am one of the biggest stars of the country and was working like hell till late night??
being a professional i don't have any right to keep the unit waiting for hours.

hey i am not in the hangover of any high-fi dream. was just being myself.
well it's me a day dreamer .

As a 6th grade above average student in k v 2 KOCHI, i was always hooked to trains. the whole idea of passengers making each bogie their home till their respective destination fascinated me.
especially it was the night journeys which made me curious .
how do people sleep in train which shake all the time and won't it be awkward to have food amidst strangers??
all these kind of questions poured into my mind.  i remember getting carried away by the conversations which i used to have with abraham punnoose ,my closest buddy in 6th-7th phase, about his long train journeys from chandigarh to kerala and his tiresome experience of spending more than 2 days in a cabin. but for me it was the most enjoyable and attractive part of it.


one day my father told me about the mookambika (manglore) trip which he had planned and the best thing about it was that we were going in train, my first rail journey. we boarded malabar express from ernakulam at around 12 mid night and it was a nearly 13 hr journey to manglore. my level of excitement was at an all time high and had been planning stuffs to do in train for days. finally when i entered the train i couldn't sleep properly ,after all i was doing something which i always wanted to do.
long distance train journeys  was always a  distant dream for me as i didn't had any friends or close relatives outside kochi ,leave alone another state and somehow i was convinced that i would never get a opportunity to fulfill my dreams ....that is when i first became a DAY DREAMER.


I  created a imaginary  world where i could be myself and make all my wishes happen. my bed made way for train and pillows became cabins. keeping a tab on the name of trains and their destinations was a hobby of mine in those days which  came in handy for my craziness . i used to book ticket in grand trunk express from delhi to chennai and then in madras mail for my forward journey from chennai to ernakulam.


my motto was simple...even if i don't get to shake hands with my dreams at least i can celebrate it within myself.


Now the focus shifts to my collage days. my entry into MNNIT in allahad  was quite unexpected . being the much pampered kid of the family i was not allowed to study anywhere outside kerala and it was my  decision to apply in this collage. finally when i got admitted i put a brave front and made it clear that i was joining here.
even today my parents wonder how did they let me so far but i guess it was destiny. perhaps i did regret that decision at certain point of time . if not for couple of friends i haven't gained much from here.


but when i look back it was my that decision taken in matter of seconds which helped me fulfill my childhood dreams. it takes two long  days for me to reach my place in kerala  from allahabad.  i still remember my first  winter vacation in this collage when i boarded  grand trunk exp from itarsi to chennai and then madras mail from there to ernakulam. that rail journey took me back to my school days when i had imagined all these in my mad world and for once it was happening. the feeling was surreal , a sense of fulfillment .for an outsider it would be just another train journey but for me it was my dream which was being real in front of me.


that was the moment when i realized that whatever we desire from the bottom of our heart with purity ,it will be fulfilled. it was that realization which gave me strength to dream harder and lead a positive march towards life. it made me put a smiling face even during my testing times.


Now i have a dream , something which  have been with me  for a long time . i don't know whether it will happen in real but there is a gut feeling in me that my desire won't go the other way. no matter what  others say , am hopelessly optimistic about it . because dreams make our life real and achieving it makes it meaningful.


my  present may not look pleasant but future.... it's full of bright stars which i can smell. even when the world goes against me i gather strength from those train journeys which makes me look everything positively .